Image copyright © by Marcus Trahan

The Last Stand

(2013)

Arnold decided to stage his comeback with this silly little action pic, and it pretty much tanked. Arnold just looks old, man, old. The plot concerns some very bad guys helping a Mexican drug lord escape back to the south, and the only thing that stands in his way is the sleepy little town of Sommerton Junction and it’s small police force, headed by Schwarzenegger. Much blood is shed, many thousands of rounds are expended from huge guns, with the usual result: pretty much nothing, confirming once more that you’re better off taking a knife to a fight with big automatic weapons, because they can’t hit shit. There is one good sequence: two very, very hot cars playing cat and mouse in a huge field of dead corn stalks. Neither driver can tell where the hell he is. Other than that, a waste of your time.