Schlock! The Secret History of American Movies

At a certain point in my life, Doris Wishman was probably my favorite film director. Not that I knew it; when you’re 16, 17, 18 years old and perpetually horny you aren’t likely to read the credits of a movie. But at that age me and some friends used to drive to Houston (no local theaters were enlightened enough to show a Wishman film) to see brilliant spectacles like Read more »

School of Rock

This film is so high-energy, so endearing, that even Mom liked it, and she says she doesn’t really care for Jack Black.

(New Review) Jack Black’s talents call for a particular sort of movie, at least back when this one was made. Need manic energy? Jack’s your man. But in parts where a wee bit more subtlety might have helped, he has been way too much in ... Read more »

Schultze Gets the Blues

(SPOILER WARNING) This is a German film, but apparently doesn’t have a title in German. Schultze and two friends are retired from working in a salt mine. (Which isn’t as bad as it sounds; I’ve been in a salt mine, in Grand Saline, Texas, and it’s kind of neat.) They don’t have anything to do with themselves. Schultze is the most clueless of them all. He isn’t ... Read more »

The Science of Sleep

Did you ever see a movie that was so visually imaginative, so inventive, so wild and crazy and superficially appealing that you almost … almost, didn’t realize that nothing of real interest was going on? That there was no real story here, or if there was, it wasn’t a very good or original one? One example that springs to mind is Read more »

The Score

From above we see a fat man in a white suit. The way he walks, the sheer size of him … it’s gotta be Sidney Greenstreet. He turns, and … it is Sidney Greenstreet! I thought he was dead! No, wait a minute, wait a minute … oh, shit, it’s only Marlon Brando.

Actually, I’m being mean. Brando is pretty good in this, his last ... Read more »

The Score (Second Review)

The heist is a clearly unworkable Rube Goldberg device of bypassed security, mechanical gizmos, and other such stuff, where the failure of any one of a hundred elements would spell instant disaster. But that’s what you accept when you watch a heist movie, or you shouldn’t watch it. You just sit back and watch it all revealed, as in classics like Topkapi and more ... Read more »

Scorpio

You know a movie is going to be pretty bad when you are distracted by the sound engineering. All the dialog is recorded at the same level, no matter where the speaker is. It was obviously all looped, but by someone who was far, far below Hollywood standards. Add to that bad acting, and a silly story, and you’ve got a mess. The only reason I can see for making this film is so Burt Lancaster ... Read more »

The Scout

This movie builds well, and then blows it all in the last twenty minutes. Albert Brooks plays one of those little-known guys, a talent scout for major league baseball. He goes to high school and college games with the dream of finding the next Mickey Mantle. A promising young man he recruits totally blows it, can’t bring himself to pitch in Yankee Stadium, and Brooks is exiled to Mexico, ... Read more »

Scrooge

Making “A Christmas Carol” into a musical must have sounded like a good idea. There’s a lot of roistering about in the story, from Fezziwig’s party to the festive Spirit of Christmas Present to Scrooge’s joyful rebirth. But you also have to find a winning song for when Ebenezer is feeling grumpy, and Leslie Bricusse hasn’t managed it, among quite a few other shortcomings. Bricusse is a lot ... Read more »