Image copyright © by Marcus Trahan

Fuck

(2005)

The fucking DVD box and the fucking posters say F*CK or F**K. Nobody can fucking decide how to spell a word you can’t fucking say. Of course, you can say it now, but fuckheads like Pat Boone and Michael fucking Medved (both of whom appear here, to present the fucked-up side of the censorship argument, along with many others on the right side) will look down their fucking noses at you for it. Fucking Boone especially is in fucking denial, coming up with multi-syllabic abso-fucking-lutely stupid ways to say words like asshole and shithead. Doesn’t he fucking realize that you fucking translate those words in your fucking head? “Oh, he meant asshole! And shithead! But he’s too fucking prissy to say it.” Oh, well, he’s an asshole shithead, what did you fucking expect? I learned some fucking interesting things, including that the f-word is not a fucking acronym, and that the first fucking time the f-word was used in a movie was in M*A*S*H, during the fucking football game, when John fucking Schuck (nice fucking alliteration there, huh?) as Painless the Polish fucking dentist told another fucking lineman “Your fuckin’ head’s coming right off!” Now that is a fucking honor I’d put on my fucking resume if I was him!