Anaconda

We were both in the mood for a brainless action movie, and this was on. We could hardly have done better. The brainless part, I mean. It stars Jennifer Lopez before she was J Lo, and Jon Voight, who follows in the tradition of Captain Ahab in Moby Dick and Quint in Jaws. He’s hunting a giant anaconda, intends to bring it back alive, and doesn’t care who gets in his way. It is jaw-droppingly stupid. Both women on the riverboat going into the Amazonian jungle are real babes. Everyone sleeps under mosquito netting, but they run around in skimpy, snug outfits baring shoulders, legs, arms, tummies. The monster snake keeps hunting people even after it has eaten a few. Very un-snakelike behavior, but then there’s nothing really snakelike about this critter but the scales. He does show good taste at one point, though. He vomits up the slimy corpse of Jon Voight. I guess these days a diet of Republicans is too much for even a reptile to stomach.