Image copyright © by Marcus Trahan

Alvin and the Chipmunks


(December 14, 2007, if we’re all really, really, really bad) I know it’s not strictly kosher to review a movie you haven’t seen, that hasn’t even been released yet, and that you would prefer to have all 32 teeth extracted without novocaine than see. But while suffering through 12 trailers for upcoming bad “family” movies while waiting for Enchanted to start, we were subjected to this one. My feeling: They have scraped through the bottom of the Xmas movie barrel for this one. It’s based on the most annoying Xmas song ever recorded, one that proved that America’s tolerance for cutesiness has no lower limit, and spawned sequels, TV series, and now this. All based on the accidental discovery by one Ross Bagdasarian (and when his name is mentioned, I’m almost ready to re-think my position on Armenian genocide), one dark day in 1958, when the drive belt on his tape recorder broke, that if you speeded up a recording of your voice the result was … well, annoying, but maybe people would listen to this shit, anyway. Sadly, he was right. Here in LA most of the buses have been plastered with posters that simply say: ALVIN!!!!!! This movie is what that’s all about. You’ve been warned. Let me conclude by saying:

ALVIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!