Pompeii

… in which we learn, among many other things we never needed to see again … that no matter how thick the falling debris, it never harms the hero or the bad guy in any way … that the sidekick or the hero will always pause in the middle of a crisis to rescue one little girl among thousands who has lost her mother … further, that the sidekick will die a glorious death shortly before the hero kills the bad guy … that Kiefer Sutherland (who plays creepy so well that you really wonder if he is that creepy) is not really dead yet, and that the hero will turn his back on him … oh, well, I’m tired of this. Suffice it to say that every standard plot device you are totally sick and tired of is hashed out once more here, with complete lack of originality. The only faint surprise (and I’m not even issuing a spoiler warning, hoping that if you know how it ends you will avoid this piece of shit, as I should have done) is that the plebian hero and his upper class girlfriend are finally consumed by the approaching wall of flame, just like everybody else. Which is certainly a true ending, but left me feeling even more that I had wasted two hours I’ll never get back.