Image copyright © by Marcus Trahan

The Pacifier


This was the second feature at the drive in; the first was Fever Pitch. What we got was a film-school double feature: How to write comedy, and how not to write comedy.

This is one that’s so bad it should have joined that small, elite selection of movies that are put on the shelf, never released. Vin Diesel tries something that The Governator (Kindergarten Cop), Sly Stallone (Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot), and (what the hell were you thinking!) Tommy Lee Jones have tried: playing against the tough-guy type. It can be a funny idea, but you have to have people you care about in some way. Everyone in this is just awful. For some reason, in pursuit of some pointless McGuffin, Vin the Navy Seal is assigned to protect five children. He ends up covered in shit, figuratively and literally. We lasted 40 minutes, but could easily have left in 20.