Image copyright © by Marcus Trahan

Cherry 2000


Here’s a hoot. This film takes place in 2017! I am writing this on January 8, 2018.

This is a fairly strange post-apocalyptic world. It seems there are pockets of stability. Los Angeles, for instance, looks pretty futuristic and normal, but people aren’t making things anymore, they are using up the stuff they already have. Such as female love robots called gynoids that are a hell of a lot better than the old-fashioned inflatable pool toys we have these days. The best of the lot is the Cherry 2000 model. They are like real women in every way, except they are programmed to be the ideal household sex and work slave, and like it. Sam, our protagonist, has one, but she short-circuits and is not repairable. So he takes off into the desert to the east, which starts around San Bernardino. Out there, there is no law, so he hires a guide, E. Johnson, played by Melanie Griffith, to help him track down another Cherry 2000. She is contemptuous, as she should be, but takes the job. She drives a really cool modified Mustang.

They get into various sorts of trouble with the different sorts of outlaws, gangs, cults, and lunatics who live in the desert, and find their way to the remains of Las Vegas, where the dolt finally realizes that falling in love with Johnson would be a lot better than a fuck toy. It took him quite a while to get to that point, but I guess if he had earlier, the quest would have been called off.

Think of this as a 5&10-cent version of Mad Max: Fury Road, but played for laughs. It was an okay diversion, but I know that in a year I’ll have forgotten all about it. Maybe just a month. It did confirm my opinion regarding Melanie Griffith, though. Aside from a fairly good performance in Working Girl, she is maybe the most wooden actress in Hollywood. She just can’t act a lick.