Tim’s Vermeer

Every once in a while a movie comes along that is not really like anything you’ve ever seen. This is one of them. It’s a documentary, produced and directed by Penn and Teller, and it tells the story of one of the craziest geniuses you’ll ever meet.

Tim Jenison made his money in electronics, and he must have a lot of it to finance all the things he does here, with no hope at all of ... Read more »

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Once more one of my major cinematic theorems is proven: It is almost always a mistake to remake a really, really good film. (Coen Brothers exception: True Grit, the only instance I can think of where a classic was improved.) (Coen Brothers confirmation: The Ladykillers, easily their worst movie.) Those who ... Read more »

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

In my opinion, so-called “intelligence” work is the dirtiest job there is. It is, in and of itself, morally repugnant. It doesn’t matter which side you are on, it doesn’t matter if your cause is just. (Remember, people on both sides believe that to be true.) The coin of the realm is deception and betrayal. It is done by two kinds of people: shabby little men and women in offices, nothing ... Read more »

Tiny Furniture

A Film Festival movie, the sort that never gets a real theatrical release. It was written and directed by its young star, Lena Dunham, with her real mother and real sister as her mother and sister, filmed in her mother’s real, huge, trendy, all-white TriBeCa apartment/studio for very little money. I applaud the resourcefulness it must have taken, and the bravery to show so much of what ... Read more »

Tiptoes

A man comes from a family of dwarves, or little people, and he’s the only normal-sized one. He conceals this from his girlfriend, who becomes pregnant, and may be carrying a dwarf. Sounds interesting and well-intentioned, but I thought this was a disaster. The dialogue is terrible. The incidents are unbelievable. For some reason, Gary Oldman, who likes to play grotesques (he was the man ... Read more »

Tit For Tat

Laurel and Hardy Two-reeler. The title could sum up some of the very best bits L&H ever did. You know how it goes. Somebody does something nasty to somebody else: Dumps a bucket of water or paint over his head, pours molasses over him, makes him sit down on a crate of eggs, stuffs something awful down his pants. The offended guy retaliates. Then comically increasing retaliation. All ... Read more »

Titanic

There have been many films, both fictional and documentary, about the first and final voyage of the White Star liner, the “unsinkable” Titanic, but only three of them can really be classified as epic. This was the first, starring Clifton Webb, Barbara Stanwyck, and a very young Robert Wagner. Five years later there was A Night to ... Read more »

The Titfield Thunderbolt

There seem to be two sorts of British comedy, things they do better than anyone else. One is the wild, over-the-top insanity best expressed by Monty Python, the sort that grew out of the silly British institution of “panto.” The other is the gentle, understated humour of the Ealing comedies of the 1950s, of which this is a good example. It is the first one to be made in colour, and it was ... Read more »

Titus

Though it has a few defenders (who have abstract theories regarding violence as symbolism) and not a few dissenters who are sure Shakespeare didn’t write it, {{Titus Andronicus{{ is widely held to be the Bard’s worst play, the only rivals to that dubious honor being King John and Timon of Athens. To me, it’s a toss-up between Titus and ... Read more »