Image copyright © by Marcus Trahan

Drillbit Taylor

I had prepared this line before I ever saw the movie, in case it sucked: “Now I understand why Owen Wilson tried to off himself.” Yeah, I know, it’s cruel, but what the hell? And sorry to say, if I’d been involved in this movie in any capacity I’d be thinking about the rope, the gas pipe, or pills. Like any comedy, except the very worst, there were a few laughs. But there were also great stretches of silence. Premise: three high school nerds are terrorized by a bully and decide to hire a bodyguard. (For a much better, serious treatment of this idea, see My Bodyguard, which, oddly enough, co-stars one of the guys these boys interview and reject!) They end up with Drillbit, a homeless vet who’s never seen combat and is completely incompetent and only plans to rob their houses. These boys are too smart to be taken in by his bullshit, which is very lame, but of course they are. And of course Drillbit reforms … you can fill out the rest. But don’t bother.