Image copyright © by Marcus Trahan

Bad Santa

(2003)

Bad Santa is the perfect antidote for Elf. From the very first scene when Billy Bob Thornton, as the world’s worst Santa, turns the tables on the little brats he can’t stand by (not voluntarily; he’s very drunk) pissing on one of them. He and his dwarf partner (the hilarious Tony Cox, and has there ever been a better year for performances by little people?) do this every year, working as Santa and his elf so they can rob the department store on Xmas Eve. Billy Bob is interested in only two things: getting very, very drunk, and buggering fat women when he’s sober enough to perform. (“You won’t shit right for a week!”) Now this is the perfect setup for redemption; surely BB will see the error of his ways, sober up, and go out doing good works. Not a chance. He does sort of take a loser little kid under his wing, and there is a small triumph at the end (which involves BB beating the crap out of a teenage bully half his size!), but you know his misanthropy is completely untouched. This is not a movie for everyone. All the rest of my family hated it, can’t understand why Lee and I loved it. I just like to have my Xmas nog served up with a big dash of bitters and almost no sweet vermouth.