Image copyright © by Marcus Trahan

Uptown Girls


A 22-year-old who has never grown up meets an 8-year-old who has never been a child. The adult is in love with an empty-headed geek who plays insipid “rock” music. The kid’s dad is in a coma. Then … oh, screw it. You know the drill. We rented this because we like Dakota Fanning a lot, and figured that even if the movie sucked she’d be okay. Well, she was … but I’d forgotten she was also in The Cat in the Hat, and that’s where I draw the line. We should have drawn it here, too. Just excruciatingly bad, bad, bad.