Movie Reviews
Red 2
Red 2 (2013) The first one was fun, the second not so much. It had its moments, but mostly it coasted on the reputation and situations of the original. However, it was nice to see once again that Varley’s First Law of Movie Violence still applies. It states that “No hero in any movie has ever been or will ever be harmed by a fully-automatic weapon.” In this case, among many others, it’s ... Read more »
2 Guns
Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlburg are trying to set up a big dope deal south of the border, but it’s not going well. We eventually discover that each is an undercover agent, and neither is aware of the other’s situation. So eventually they decide they have to work together, though both of them complain about it a lot. It’s a typical buddy picture and is fun most of the time, and three ... Read more »
The Call
Here we have a real white-knuckle thriller involving Halle Berry as a 911 operator in Los Angeles, who is stressed out because one of her calls went badly wrong as the result of a mistake she made. So she gets another, from Abigail Breslin in the trunk of the car of a sex maniac who, no surprise, turns out to be the same guy who killed the previous girl on the line, six months before. I ... Read more »
Parkland
Fifty years. As I write this there are only a few more days until the fiftieth anniversary of those events in Dallas, many of which played out at the Parkland hospital, where the still-breathing body of John F. Kennedy was taken. Later, Lee Harvey Oswald would die in the room next door. This movie has no real plot, since we all know exactly what happened. There is no mystery to solve, ... Read more »
Valley of Gwangi
Ray Harryhausen (who died only a few months ago at age 93) did the stop-motion for this handsomely produced but fairly dumb movie about cowboys battling dinosaurs in a forgotten valley in Mexico. It takes a while to get going, but when the action starts it’s watchable. I guess I should give them points for giving a starring role to eohippus, the proto-horse that was about the size of a ... Read more »
Captain Nemo and the Underwater City
This one was so bad, so stupid, that I can’t imagine why I finished watching it. Cheesy sets, Robert Ryan as a wimpy Nemo, Chuck Connors as the he-man lead, and a couple of jerks for not-very-funny comic relief. I guess I was too bored to turn it off.
Planes
This was originally intended as a direct-to-DVD thing from DisneyToon Studios, the B-picture division of Disney. Then they decided to give it a theatrical release, and that was a damn good idea, as it made well over $100,000,000, and that will be in addition to the DVD. It’s set in the Cars universe, where there are no people but machines inexplicably keep on doing what they do in our ... Read more »
The Million Dollar Hotel
We were lured into this one because it was directed by Wim Wenders, who I have liked in the past. It stars Mel Gibson, and I wondered why I hadn’t heard of it. The answer is simple: It was barely released at all. With a budget of $8,000,000, they got a little over $50,000 back. Sometimes this means it’s a neglected movie, sunk because of studio politics, but not this time. This is a ... Read more »
The Philadelphia Experiment
During World War II they conduct an experiment that is intended to make a destroyer invisible to radar. Stealthy, as we would say today. Something goes haywire, and two sailors end up in Nevada in the present day (1984). The best parts are their reactions to the things they see. Some of the special effects are pretty good for their time, but I kept getting the feeling they were missing the ... Read more »
Enter Laughing
Based on a book and stage play by Carl Reiner, about his early days and entry into show business. He’s utterly hopeless at first, and Jose Ferrer misses no opportunity to tell him so, with scathing wit. Reiner is played by Reni Santoni, who does a pretty good job of showing that stage fright can be an almost fatal condition. They are supported nicely by the great Elaine May and the always ... Read more »