Movie Reviews
Darling Companion
Here we have a perfectly ordinary, predictable but entertaining way to spend an evening. Diane Keaton and her daughter find a stray dog by the side of the road and take him to the vet, and then home, intending to take him to the animal shelter in the morning. But they are told he will certainly be put down. So without really wanting to, especially on the part of Kevin Kline, her surgeon ... Read more »
The Hills Have Eyes II
Cannibalistic mutant films are never high on my list of must-sees. I never saw the first one and never felt the loss. By the time Grindhouse ended we were so tired of this shit we didn’t even stay around for the opening credits.
Death Proof
Second feature at the drive in with {[Planet Terror}}. Whatever else you say, Tarantino is one of the best ever at writing dialogue. His ear is unerring for the rhythms of speech, and for the startling reversal, and the new take on the old situation. This film basically breaks down into 4 parts: A long scene in a bar with several women and a lot of conversation; a short violent scene to ... Read more »
Planet Terror
I was interested for about the first half hour. It felt like a spoof, which worked pretty well. Solemn, nonsensical dialogue, shambling zombies, buckets of blood. Then … it just went on too long, and though it never lost its over-the-top stupidity, after a while it was just … over the top. They must have bought fake blood by the supertanker load. After a while, exploding bodies ... Read more »
Jackass Number Two
This is the only way we could ever have seen a Jackass movie, as a second feature with something we really wanted to see. I warn you, America, there will be more of these. Getting our Subway sandwiches before going to the theater, the girl behind the counter asked us what movies we were seeing. Lee said The Depahted (actually, she said ... Read more »
Ghost Rider
We try to make sure the probable 2 hours of crap is the second feature when we go to the drive-in, that way we can drive away if the second feature is Jackass, Part II. Forgot that principle once and had to sit through Alien Vs. Predator, and I’m still not completely recovered. Nicolas Cage works a lot (he’s got no less than ... Read more »
Shooter
A pretty good drive-in movie. I judge flicks a little differently when I’m sitting in the front seat of my car. I don’t cut them so much slack that I’d enjoy some of the brainless shit that comes along, but still, a C movie in the theater might be experienced as a B+ at the drive-in. This is a B+. It has its moments, and it has its gaping plot holes and lingering ... Read more »
The Depahted
Well, that’s how they pronounce it in this movie, set in Bahstin. Everybody tahks like that. We’ve all seen stories about cops infiltrating the mob—the Irish mob in this case—but you add a level of complexity when you also have a mole in the police depahtment. It makes for some amazing twists and turns in the plot. Matt Damon and Leonahdo DiCaprio ah the twin rats, and their ... Read more »
A Christmas Carol
This is another exception to the rule (see The Bad News Bears) that it’s always a bad idea to remake a classic. “A Christmas Carol” is one of the greatest stories of all time. It can withstand a new directorial hand. It might even be a good idea to remake it every twenty years or so, because so many kids won’t look at anything more than ... Read more »
Stick It
… right up your balanced beam! I said one of the great reasons to go to the drive-in is the second feature. There is also, sometimes, a big drawback, and that is … you guessed it. The second feature! The good news is that, if it really, really sucks, you can get your ass out of there …
We lasted about 15 minutes. Seldom have I disliked two protagonists as quickly ... Read more »