Movie Reviews
The Queen
First, we must always remember that a movie is not historical truth. Never is. A conscientious movie may try to be a close approximation, but that’s all it can be. Sometimes they don’t even try. I believe they tried here, what I know of events seem to have been presented accurately, and it rings true, but you know certain choices were made for dramatic purposes. But we ... Read more »
The 400 Blows
Sometimes life just ain’t fair. Francois Truffaut was born in 1932. In a better world he’d be 74 today, quite likely still active, probably the “Grand old man” of French cinema. But no, he died at 52 of a brain tumor. Sigh. Well, at least he was a worker, averaging one film per year. This was his first one, and one of the most influential films of all time as one of ... Read more »
The Quatermass Xperiment
This was listed as The Creeping Unknown, which was the US release title, but when the film started it used the original title, so I’m going with that. It’s much better than the US title would lead you to believe.
I have seen one of the Bernard Quatermass movies, Quatermass and the Pit (US title: Five Million ... Read more »
Teeth
I browsed some reviews, and culled these opinions as to just what the hell kind of movie this is: Teenage horror-movie spoof, John Waters parody, No Nukes protest movie, twisted sex-education film, quasi-feminist fable, outrageous stunt, cheap gag, macabre coming-of-age story, Cronenbergian body horror story, some kind of token of female empowerment, the Incredible Hulk of sex satires, an ... Read more »
Ted
Mark Wahlberg is like Peter Pan, he never grew up. But never growing up in James Barrie’s world and never growing up today are two completely different things. Today it involves drinking a lot of beer, farting a lot, sitting on the couch with your asshole buddies and acting gross.
Mark’s asshole buddy is Ted, who is a teddy bear. When he was eight, he made a wish and his teddy bear ... Read more »
Team America: World Police
Lee was extremely dubious, I wasn’t sure what to expect. In the end, it just didn’t quite work. There are basic problems, and the biggest is that the puppet stuff wears pretty thin after about 30 minutes. I got tired of looking at the blank faces. Sure, they’re more expressive than Howdy Doody, but not much, and they all walk exactly like Howdy. There are some very funny moments, and the ... Read more »
Putting Pants on Philip
Laurel and Hardy were still not committed to their screen personas as eternal comrades. In this one Ollie is a rich American and Stan is a cousin arriving from Scotland. Naturally, he’s wearing a kilt, which for some reason is a sensation in Culver City. He draws crowds wherever they go. Ollie tries to get him into a pair of pants, with little success. There are some laughs, but it’s not ... Read more »
Taxi
Going to double features, we end up watching a few movies we wouldn’t even have rented, the reviews were so bad (see White Chicks, or better yet, don’t). Metacritic gave this one a 22, just about the lowest score I’ve ever seen. It wasn’t low enough. The premise of the movie seems to be that cars going very fast is funny. Ha. Ha. Jimmy Fallon is an utter ... Read more »
Tarnation
This film goes directly onto my list of scariest films of all time … and it’s all true, not a drop of blood or an act of violence in it. A gay man named Jonathan Caouette grew up in Texas in a family that you’d need to invent a new word for; dysfunctional just doesn’t cover it. His mother was subjected to years of shock treatment and a lithium overdose, and is now a giggling, ... Read more »