Movie Reviews
The Last Stand
Arnold decided to stage his comeback with this silly little action pic, and it pretty much tanked. Arnold just looks old, man, old. The plot concerns some very bad guys helping a Mexican drug lord escape back to the south, and the only thing that stands in his way is the sleepy little town of Sommerton Junction and it’s small police force, headed by ... Read more »
A Royal Affair
We know from the first frames that this is a love story that will end tragically. The woman narrating is the involuntary Queen of Denmark, trapped in an arranged marriage with the King, a total asswipe. She’s English, and her life seems hopeless … until you compare it with the lives of the people living in the flowing open sewers and giant rats that make up the rest of Copenhagen, the part ... Read more »
Cavalcade
This was based on a play by Noel Coward that, according to Robert Osborne at TMC, was a huge spectacle with carriages, horses, a London double-decker bus, and hundreds and hundreds of spear-carriers. It was a huge success, and so was the movie adaptation, which is also vast and populated with thousands. It follows a family from 1899 to 1933, through war and upheaval, death and birth. It’s ... Read more »
The Family
This tries with mixed success to mingle comedy with over-the-top violence. Robert De Niro and wife Michelle Pfeiffer are a mob family with two teenage kids who have been relocated from Brooklyn to a small town in Normandy. This is far from their first move, as Dad has a lot of trouble with getting violent if someone “disrespects” him. For that matter, Mom and the kids are the same way. Mom ... Read more »
The Mod Squad
I won’t waste my time, as Claire Danes, Omar Epps, and Giovanni Ribisi did making this piece of shit, by discussing it much. It’s a total disaster, silly and boring. Avoid it at all costs.
Lenny
Bob Fosse made five films in his too-short life, and for three of them he was nominated as Best Director. He won for only Cabaret. This one had the bad fortune to be up against Chinatown and The Godfather, Part II. In most other years I think it could have won. It’s an amazing achievement in writing and ... Read more »
And the Oscar Goes To …
You can’t really cover the history of the Oscars in a couple of hours, but this production of TCM does a pretty good job of hitting some of the highlights and lowlights. There are good interviews with the likes of Annette Bening, George Clooney, Ellen Burstyn, Cher, Billy Crystal, Jane Fonda, Tom Hanks, and Whoopi Goldberg about what it’s like to win or lose an Oscar, or to host the show.
Love Potion No. 9
Sandra Bullock was not the big star she is today. Speed was still two years in her future. Here, Tate Donovan goes to a gypsy (Anne Bancroft, having fun) and gets Love Potion No. 8, which messes with your vocal cords to the point that anyone of the opposite sex (homosexuality is not discussed) who hears you talk will fall madly, hopelessly in love with you. It’s ... Read more »
Prisoners
Here’s an extremely powerful, haunting, and horrifying story. Hugh Jackman has a daughter he loves. One day she goes missing, and he and his wife, Maria Bello, begin to freak out. She goes limp, unable to deal with things. He turns himself in a vigilante. He suspects a deeply disturbed young man, Paul Dano, playing yet another weirdo, who has been hanging around. He kidnaps him and walls ... Read more »
Impromptu
Chronicles the love affair between Frédéric Chopin and “George Sand,” a French proto-feminist who dressed in men’s clothes and conquered any man she had a mind to. These included Franz Liszt and Eugène Delacroix. In fact, you get the impression she fucked most of the creative men in mid-19th-century Paris, and much of the surrounding countryside. It’s amazing, because she was not a great ... Read more »