X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I know, I know, I keep saying I’m through with stupid comic book movies, that they insult my intelligence and, by golly, those idiots that make them won’t be getting any more of my money. So you’re probably asking yourself, why doesn’t he just shut the fuck up, and stop complaining about them? Why did he go see yet another stupid comic book movie?
As for the why, it’s because we still enjoy a night out at the drive-in, and that’s the kind of movies that play at drive-ins. If we wait a while, the stupid comic book movie will be the second feature to something we might actually, marginally, with probably false hope, want to see. And as it’s the second feature, we can always start up the engine and motor noisily away, playing our headlights over the screen in hopes of ruining the experience for all the pathetic fan boys sitting out there slobbering over this shit.
As for these reviews of stupid comic book movies … I just can’t see a pile of whale vomit like this one and remain silent. I have to voice one more lonely warning. But I will do my best not to get tedious …
Is there anything more boring in the movies than watching a fistfight between two invulnerable psychopaths? I can’t think of anything, and I’m including Andy Warhol’s epic Empire, which is a static shot of the Empire State Building, eight hours long. So I won’t bother detailing the idiocies here. They’re generic: they smite each other mightily, they hurl each other over tall buildings, they twist each other’s heads off. Then they get up and do it some more. After ten minutes they stop, and two minutes later we’re at it again. Wake me when it’s over.
No, what I’m thinking about, yet again, is … Who likes this shit? Fan boys, obviously, who I used to dismiss with easy contempt, but they’re starting to scare me a little. Obviously they have no idea what it says about them, liking this stuff, about their embarrassingly obvious inadequacies and insecurities. Their worries about the size of their cocks, about how girls are contemptuous of them, about how they don’t fit in. Superheroes are, by definition, outsiders, as these sad little boys see themselves … but superheroes kick ass, something they will never do. X-Men are among the worst panderers to this insecurity. They are mutants. The world is out to get them. They have to band together with other mutants. Remember Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris? They were mutants. They felt the whole school was out to get them. The big difference between them and other video-gaming fan boys is they actually did kick some ass. About all we can be thankful for with them is, they didn’t get back up.
Am I saying comic book movies lead to Columbine? No. But they sure don’t help.