VarleyNews: The Sidewiki Abomination

© 2009-2010 by John Varley; all rights reserved



Go to Varley's Sidewiki Policy

January 11, 2010 - SIDEWIKI UPDATE.

  (Warning: If obscenity upsets you, I suggest you stop reading right here. I can no longer write about the G-word without using strong language)  

For months now I have been reporting all postings on Sidewiki as objectionable, knowing full well that according to the Google cocksuckers’ rules of abuse, none of them actually are. (Obscenity, a differing point of view, or libel are not valid reasons to remove a post. In fact, short of an actual death threat, it is almost impossible to violate the Google cocksuckers’ rules for Sidewiki posting.) I think I was triggering an automatic program, because all the postings would vanish … for about a week. Then either their laughable “legal team” would look at the postings and decide they were not in violation of Google cocksucker policies or—more likely—the same automatic program would smear them back onto my site. And there they would be again, in all their staggeringly idiotic glory, the brain farts and mind vomits of the most frightening motherfuckers in the world today: The so-called Internet Community. I would report them again, and they would vanish again. For a week.

At the same time I have been writing the vilest, ugliest, most obscene and insulting crap I could think of, and posting it on every Google cocksucker webpage I could reach. I posted well over 100 of these rants on various Google cocksucker pages. The idea was to see how those cocksuckers liked it having shit like that smeared on their pages. Here’s an example:


“Google takes abuse of its services very seriously. In the fields below, please provide us with information about the comment you believe is in violation of our Terms of Service. We'll investigate your report and, if necessary, pass the details on to our legal team. We'll follow up with you only if we require more info or we have additional info to share.”

IT’S BULLSHIT!!! You don’t investigate DICK!!! Legal team, my ass. I’ve reported EVERY FUCKING SIDEWIKI POST ON MY SITE, and haven’t heard WORD ONE from you motherfuckers!! EAT SHIT AND DIE, GOOGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I posted that one on, about a dozen times. I posted it, and others even uglier, on Google images, shopping, maps, and mail. I posted them on all the help pages. My goal was no leave NO COCKSUCKING GOOGLE WEBPAGE UNSMEARED. I think I did a pretty good job of it.

And all the postings I objected to vanished from my website, and stayed gone for over a month. I thought they finally had decided not to re-post the vile drivel the Internet morons had posted.

Not the case.

I heard from a friend, who told me that when he went to my site and clicked on that obscene little Sidewiki tab, all that shit was still there. Furthermore, when he went to, none of my obscene postings were there. They are there when I click on Sidewiki, but not when he does.

Those of you who have the Google cocksucker toolbar, and have Sidewiki enabled, please do me a favor and go to right now. Check and see if any of my postings are there. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Now, if any of you see any of my obscene postings, please write and tell me so. I suspect you won’t see them. Next, click on the Sidewiki tab on my home page. When I do that, all I see is postings I have put there myself, in the probably futile hope that my postings will crowd out the assholes who smear their shit there. (I’m currently posting War and Peace, a chapter at a time, but you very likely won’t see that.) Then please email me and tell me what you see. Are the postings from the Internet morons there? Are seven chapters of War and Peace there?

Here’s what seems to be happening:

Apparently the Mighty Google has blocked my ability to see Sidewiki postings on my own site. Anyone else who comes to my site can read the shit posted there by morons, but not me. Not only have they had the gall to formulate rules of conduct for my site, they have made it seem as if I have nothing left to object to.

Apparently the Mighty Google doesn’t like it when an aggrieved party (me!) posts ugly shit on their pages. They seem to have blocked my postings, so that nobody who goes to their pages can read my howls of protest. All that is left, according to my friend, are wildly complimentary, ass-kissing postings that begin like this, an actual post: GOOGLE NEWS ROCKS! As if they think Larry Page or Sergei Brin will show up at their house and give them a blowjob if they worship them enough.

If this is the case … then I can’t find words vile enough to describe these cowardly cocksuckers. I used to think Google was pretty cool. Remember their motto? Do no evil? Well, fuck that. They now do whatever the fuck they want to do.

So tell me. Are they doing what I think they’re doing?


September 25, 2009 - Hollywood, California

This Is Our Sidewiki Policy

A few weeks ago I posted a rant about this new abomination from Google called Sidewiki. It allows any person to attach his idiotic thoughts to any webpage on the Internet! I requested that no one do so on my site. Good or bad,


This is not a blog, this isn’t MySpace, this isn’t Facebook. This isn’t that new outlet for short-attention-span idiots, Twitter. Go somewhere else if you want to participate in the so-called “online community.” I don’t want you here.

As I expected, I soon heard from some of the scum of humanity. Here are a few of the dozen posts that people put up:

Worst author ever? - Is this site worse than 900,000 holocausts? People want to know! I say: maybe.

Very cool site with informative information. Reading his books is as pleasurable as defecating on an infant, very cool.

Who are these people? What sewer do they come from? How do they breed? Is there any chance we could kill them all somehow, and not destroy the planet at the same time? Of course, we all knew they were out there, and we all knew they’d love this new Google toy whereby they can be personally offensive under a screen name like one asshole who posted here, Lord Dhamma. (I assume the grandiose name was picked to compensate for his very small cock. He’s a coward, like most of them.) These unbelievable assholes are deeply offended by the very idea that I don’t want people posting comments on my website. I don’t know why, and I’m sure I’ll never understand.

Google claims they will delete any posting that violates their rules. These are their rules:

No spam.

No illegal content.

No hate speech or violence.

Anything else is apparently okay with them. They also post this helpful tidbit:

Please note that just because you disagree with someone’s point of view does not mean it violates any policies.

Well, excuse the fuck out of me!!! Somebody please answer me this: By what right does Google get to set policies for my website? Fuck your policies, Google assholes, and fuck you, and fuck your mother, and fuck your little dog, too … although I suppose you handle that last one yourselves. Probably your mother, too, and any sheep who stray into Google headquarters.

So … I am declaring all-out war on Google. (Can’t you just feel them trembling?) My first step was to report every posting on my site as “abuse.” Good ones and bad ones. I attached a long, very nasty, obscene note to each objection. I did this every morning for two weeks. It took about 5 minutes per day. Wasted time, perhaps, but it made me feel good. I was prepared to deluge their pathetic “abuse” checkers until doomsday. Yesterday, all the postings disappeared. Chalk up one (very small) victory for John Varley.

(This is not nearly enough. It is wrong that I have to ask them to take this shit off my site. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I will not rest until they develop a way for anyone who doesn’t want this violation of their site to opt out of it.)

I also went to Google’s home page and started flinging shit on their turf, to see how they liked it. You can read my postings (warning: they are very nasty) here, if they haven’t deleted them:

I believe you have to have Sidewiki installed to read them. Up to you.

The good news is, my original rant brought me half a dozen allies, almost as many people as the shit-for-brains idiots who ignored my request and posted on my site. These people contacted me by email, as I requested. The best of them is here.

I hope you will read it. This lady, Sylvie Fortin, has thought of reasons that never occurred to me as to why this is beyond an abomination, it pretty much qualifies as a crime against humanity. She has also included my rants, and those of others. It’s a hell of an indictment of Google, and exposes their so-called “policies” for the shams they are.

I’d ask you all to write letters of protest to Google, but you know what? It doesn’t seem possible. I haven’t discovered any way to send them an email, direct to their world headquarters in Menlo Park. If you know of such an address, please send it to me. By email, please.

And the war goes on …